So I bargained with myself and agreed to sit out playing board games and instead opted to just watch my friends play. I wanted to see how they behaved when they lost or won; gauge how not upset they got. I was sure that if I watched them enough I could figure out what they knew that I didn't.
After a few weeks, I got it. It all meant absolutely nothing. It was just a silly game. It's fine to try to win, but if you don't, nothing has really changed. That was the day I placed myself back at the edge of the table and asked if I could play. Since then, I've generally kept my end of the bargain - I am allowed to want to win really badly and try my hardest. But, if I don't, all I can do is shrug and think about what I did learn that made the experience worthwhile. Yes, I know it seems strange that a 4 year old would have the emotional discipline to pull this off, but I never said I wasn't strange, did I?!