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Panini's. Two girls staring VK down. I lay back. Why? Because it only takes one guy to pull the girls. If all of you go in, you'll lose them. He actually decides to make nothing of it, and leaves them.

Walking down the street. Trashed. Sometimes I don't think. I see a girl with really long hair. I fucking love long hair. I have to touch it. I walk by and give it a little tug...

My boys: "ASSANOVA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? DON'T DO THAT!"

Chill out. It's not that big of a deal. Of course I'm trying to downplay it.

The Peacemaker sees two girls sitting down near McDonald's. Goes and talks to them...

Girl #1: "I work at Moes."

The Peacemaker: "Then hook me up."

Girl #1: "I'm not going to give you free food!"

The Peacemaker: "(I can't quite make out what he says)"

Me: (In a drunken slur)"SUCK MY DICK!"

The Peacemaker: "(still can't make him out)

Girl #1: "Go away."

We start to walk away...

Girl #1: "Not you, I like you."

At this point, I can stay and talk to them, but I just can't resist doing it...

Me: "High Five!"

Girl #2 goes for it. I quickly move my hand, give them the bird, and walk off in a cocky little strut...

My Boys: "Assanova, what'd you say that for!?"

Me: "Huh?"

My Boys: "You told them to suck your dick."

Me: "Hey, I wasn't the one they told to leave. They said that they liked me."

Shit. What else happened? Fuck it. It's time to move to the part that actually matters. I'm at Domino's (A 


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