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I read that 'no revolutionary is ever really happy'. You either live in a closed 'home' community, or you move into a new world - someone else's world. I think this means that being black in a white group is always going to be a bit uncomfortable at times, with occasional moments of stupid errors.
Many people are generous about the people they interact with, at least we like to think we are. The more someone acts like me, the easier it is for me to predict how they will react to me. It makes my life simpler. When someone acts differently, demonstrates different values, then I have to rethink my image of that person. That is, I experience a change, change is painful, and people seem to tend to be consistent (avoid change) and avoid pain (like change).
One big confusion about bigotry and discrimination is that some people are fixated on skin color - but most people react to cultural differences. Different behavior, different choices, different values.
